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May 17, 2013

It's Okay to Dream Big

My favorite dreamer was John Lennon. He dreamed big, told everyone about it, and he wasn't apologetic. He knew what his dreams were, and went after them in the ways that he knew how... using his celebrity to bring social awareness to issues that were important to him.

thyme from my garden...
Our family thyme these days. Har, har, har!

I have dreams too. Mine are a little more personal, and I don't have celebrity (really?!) behind me catapult the bigger dreams into reality... just yet. I'm motivated monetarily at the moment, but in the long run it will run into more family time.. more time with my husband, and him have more time with his children. I want to be able to go out once a week, because we can afford to hire the babysitter every week instead of every 6 months. I want to be able to support other small businesses by having some sort of disposable income, instead of buying crap from overseas. I don't want to worry that I'll have to stop going to see my doctors because I can't afford the co-pays that my insurance company just raised again. I want peace of mind. I want to embrace my dreams of living the kind if life I can now (at last) see for myself.

In my last post I talked about not longing for things. I feel that your dreams and goals in life are different than just wanting "stuff", and it's okay to want something once in a while if it's not causing you emotional grief. We are all human.

Owl Doll Progress
Owl Doll Progress

Aside from these personal dreams, wouldn't it be nice to be able to donate money to the type of clinics that probably saved my life? I'm 34 and just am starting to feel like my life is worth living. Mental health clinics are going under at an alarming rate. There's no money or funding to help everyone. There's hardly any beds in the entire Hudson Valley area for kids or adults in crisis, and the vast majority of our population doesn't have a clue about how important these places are. What would I have done if they hadn't been around? I know I wouldn't be writing this blog post.

Wouldn't it be great to be able to donate money or supplies to our schools, so the PTA doesn't feel like it has to whore itself out by constantly begging people who can't afford to help for help? That would be awesome. I know of a bunch of ladies who would love that in particular. *raises hand*

It's time. I'm prepared to do the work. I want to... no I DESERVE to see my dreams come true. My short term and long term aspirations are equally important. I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting my life to be better. Being petty and ungrateful is different from being comfortable. I shouldn't feel bad about wanting that. You shouldn't either. This is my declaration of my intentions. I've been beating around the bush all week, but here it is. I'm not going to be afraid anymore of going for it. I will still be afraid of being eaten by cougars while I'm walking the dog, but that's a different kind of hang up.

Lady monster skirt wip
Lady Monster's skirt progress

My plans are still a bit scattered about in my notebooks, but I'm working overtime into getting them in place. It's really just baby steps of one thing at a time. I think as long as I keep that little jewel in mind, I'll be just fine. I'm kind of still recovering from the toughest few years of my life, so I have to move slowly. Blogging is my top priority, along with creating, and getting all my ducks in a row (Quack... I'm already onto three things at a time, and I didn't even leave the paragraph. Heeellllllo [nurse] own worst enemy!)

For now I'm just sharing some of my crochet work that I've been doing this week. It's part of what's going on in those notebooks, and will fit into the place they are meant to when it's time.

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  1. Jess, what a beautifully written post. You are right to not feel bad about having dreams and wanting so much for them to come true. Think of it this way, by dreaming big and actively working towards those dreams you are teaching your children to do the same - to dream big for themselves and to know that they can make their dreams come true, too, one baby step at a time.

  2. Thank you. I have decided that I am ready to take control of my life's direction and do whatever it takes to reach my dreams. It's been time for a while, but I was too scared to actually do it.


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