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May 16, 2013

New Normal

I forgot to do the last post for my Happy Day Project. It didn't catch on with anyone in the grandiose way I had envisioned it in my brain, so I ended my so called "project" (Random. Anyone remember the show My So Called Life?). I'm seeing it as a failure, and that's okay. The whole thing was really important for me to do, because it made me focus on what makes me happy in MY life... not anyone else's. I'm seeing those things quite a bit more often, without actively having to seek them out. It's opening up my feelers a bit, and I'm having good days more than I'm having bad days. I'm not longing for things I don't have (as much), and comparing myself to others definitely is at an all time low. I'm not going to post all of that last week's pictures here right now. You can see the entire album over at my Flickr or by searching #happydaykbg on Instagram. It was a good exercise for me, and I'm glad I did it.

My beautiful Fuschia plant
Fuschia living in my greenhouse until it warms up.

I think we've hit a new normal over here. I'm more comfortable in my skin these past (almost) few months, and accepting the whole "this is me, and this is how I am" is getting easier. I'm trying (but not too hard, because that will stress me out) to be as high functioning as I can without crashing. I'm also allowing myself to know that I will have bad days... those days are okay, and I can take a sick day when that happens. Well mostly. I am channeling more Stuart Smally's Daily Affirmations into my day... Mainly "I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

All of this is great because it just is. The children also still need (healthy) tending to apparently. My magical cooking, and cleaning fairy still hasn't shown up... freakin' jerk fairy. I'm no longer needing the services of the awesome mom, loving support, and yes we can have ice cream every night fairy. There's so much good in that right there.

Epic hiking battle... or something
Epic hiking battle... or something. Trying to make this more of the norm.

The only real issue lately is how scattered I feel. I don'at know if I really am, or if I'm imagining it, but that's been the feeling lately. It's miles and miles better than the "my skin is crawling can I claw my way out of it feeling". I can handle scattered for the most part, and my support system is FAB-U-LOUS. I have a game plan (kind of), and there's no reason why I can't be out there successfully being part of whatever it is I need to be successful at. I'm not sure if I know what that is yet. I'm sure once I find it, I'll know. In the meantime, I'm content to be in my gardens and greenhouse, and getting some time to actually work in, and hanging with the kiddies doing ordinary family things. It's a nice change of pace, as the height of my mood swings were kind of terrifying for a little bit there.

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1 comment:

  1. New normals are glorious! <3

    Also: My So-Called Life! Ohmigod, YES! Jordan Catalano, heh.



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