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Dec 17, 2012

Time to Start Over

I have hit a snag in my monster making career (Yes. I'm going for it. I said career.). I'm clearly not enjoying what I am doing. Sometimes I am, but it's not a consistent, "this is fun". This is a problem. Creating for me has always been about doing what I want to do and not what I think will sell. I'm a rebel like that. I was in marching band for 5 years even though it wasn't cool. Somewhere along the line, I missed that memo and switched my line of thinking. I stopped doing this for me, and started doing this for what I thought other people would like.

I am starting over mostly. I want to hear beautiful music (or at least what's on the radio) when I'm making monsters, not assembly line music. Assembly line music is stressful. I don't want to censor myself, because I might offend a reader or shopper. I want my dolls to have a story that somehow my life influenced. I want the creative part to fall back where it belongs. I shouldn't dread crocheting. It really does keep me sane. I've been hiding how much it really does keep me sane. I hate hiding things. I feel like I'm 9 years old. I need to keep this part of me true, (I should keep all of me true, but that's a work in progress...) and really step back into the reality that my life is awesome.

I am aware that I will lose some followers/fans this way. I have a personal life that affects every single aspect of my monster making life. I have to share it all... or not bother with any of it. You should walk away with another aspect of me and my thoughts/views/ideals after each visit here. Isn't that why you visit? Shouldn't there be a connection? I can't "stay professional" all the time... or for more than 10 minutes at a clip sometimes. I don't want to. If I did, I would have finished school and become a music teacher (shudder). I wouldn't want a full sleeve of tattoos, and I would not make monsters. I would make princesses or something other than what I enjoy. I won't take it personally if you're not diggin' the new direction. It's cool. We can agree to disagree.

Eventually I will not have little people running (crashing, screaming, flailing, throwing stuff, insert other things children do) around my house constantly. I will no longer be a full time mom who crochets on the side for some extra cash for 12 hours out of my day. It actually won't be all about the kids for a huge chunk of the day. I reckon (I love John Wayne.) that I should start getting ready for that phase of my adventure. It will be here before I know it.


  1. Good for you Jess! I can't wait to see the art that flies from your fingers!

  2. Jsss, this hit so close to my heart. I am struggling with this too. I have no desire to become an assembly line artist either. Stay true to your vision and live a happy, fullfilling life. That is where it's at!

  3. Oooh this post really speaks to me (came over out of nosiness when you popped up on my Pinterest feed) Go for it - it's what I am aiming for in 2012 too :)

  4. Working on new things as we speak... life is too short to do things that don't keep you happy. :)

  5. Good for you! I think it's really important to evaluate our work and our craft and do what feels right. the craft becomes work, we can start to resent it, and no good can come from that.

  6. You go girlie! Being happy is most important. I haven't made anything new since last month. I really can't bring myself to make something just because I think it will sell, I have to really be into my designs and in the end, it's the most satisfying. I can't wait to see what you come up with in the new year. :)

  7. Chasing a market is never workable in the long run. The work you do because you LOVE IT is the work that ends up selling because your enthusiasm IS the muse.

    Some of the dolls I make are the homeliest things my husband and best friend have ever seen. They say so, loudly and often. But I fell in love with that style of folk art, and just gotta see where it will go.

    Good luck with your new direction--I can't wait to see what happens!

  8. I think you have to do what you love. Sure some people won't love it, but the one who do will love it as much as you do.

  9. Thanks for the reassuring words, everyone! This feels like a giant leap of faith, but also like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. :)

  10. I look forward to seeing where your heart will take you! and you're right, Jess, that it is what you're able to share about who you are that keeps people coming back. Not that we have to give all the details of our lives . I really like your blogs because they address your journey

  11. Do what makes YOU happy is what I say.

    Can't wait to see what you're gonna come up with now, so exciting.

    Also, love everything you make, just toooo adorable, keep em coming, whatever they may be. :-)


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