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Feb 13, 2013

Fumble on the 2nd Yard Line

That is football speak for dropping the ball right before scoring... I think. It's been a while since marching band, so I could be wrong. Either way, that's what happened. It's happened creatively, and it's happened emotionally. Fumbling kind of sucks.

Crochet monster and dog sweater WIP by Knot By Gran'ma
Crochet monster and dog sweater WIP by Knot By Gran'ma
These are supposed to be finished... last week. While I don't have deadlines that actually matter, I set them for myself so that I finish things. I'm kind of an un-finisher. It's a curse. It's bugging me, because I've let myself not finish (and thus not starting what's next on the very realistic list of things to do), even though I've had plenty of time.

This is (of course) really silly though. We've had my hands (and emotions) full with Kiddo and his struggles. I've also been working extra hard to make sure that I keep myself well... so I can continue to be able to support Kiddo. Dr. Destructo needs attention and love, so I have to be "on" for him also. It's hard being an adult... and really hard being a parent. Sometimes I'd rather put my head under the covers, honestly.

This is where my shut-up-self-you-can-do-it kicks in.

I'm going to fumble. I'm going to wonder why we let the stuff that's going on with Kiddo happen (even though it's been totally out of our control, and we didn't really let anything happen). I'm going to ponder closing up Knot By Gran'ma and saying whatever (or other cuss words that would fit here). I'm going to cry a lot, feel overwhelmed that my crochet work isn't progressing, and feel like I'll never amount to the crochet artist that I aspire to be (Somebody call me a Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaambulance... Which is hysterical, by the way.).

Once that's out of the way (because we're feeling things, kids), I'll put on my big girl pants and stop being so hard on myself. I'll breathe. I'll remember I'm making time for my yoga class. I'll look at the cool stuff I've made, the friends I have, and remember that I'm doing everything I can to help my children be happy and healthy. I'll find a way to finish the work that is supposed to be finished... my schedule might not be part of the bigger picture, and the Universe is telling me something (What? I don't know.). I'll also remember that today is a new day, and we get a re-do tomorrow if it's needed.

I think I'm also going to make some monster bunny ears. Bunnies make everything better. Right?

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely right on the bunny ears...I'm dying to make some bunnies! Maybe the universe is telling you that schedules have to be flexible, they're there to guide but sometimes life needs us to ditch them...or at least give ourselves an extension guilt free.


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